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If I go back in my mind to a few weeks ago, things were going pretty well. My mother, who has osteoporosis and COPD, was doing better. My sister and I have been trading off caring for her, getting her to doctor’s appointments, setting up a support system for her physical and mental health for the approaching winter season. Then Sandy started up the East Coast.

I arrived to take her to a doctor’s appointment, and ended up evacuating her one day before Sandy hit. As any 82 year old using a walker might move slowly, it took patience to wait for her to get packed, gather her medications, and get into the car. I spent 10 days with her and my 16 year old son, who is the real hero of that 10 days, for keeping us sane and laughing. 

It was difficult, not knowing how bad it was, not knowing how my mother’s health would hold up, when we could go see her home, which she has owned since 1959, or if she could go home anytime soon. On November 5th, we got to go see and deal with the facts, which is what I do… but this time, it wasn’t anything I was ready to deal with. The ocean, bay, sewage and rain had converged and had invaded part of the property to toss and soak furniture, books, lifelong treasures and change the future of my family. There was no way to be prepared for it. It sucked the life from me for a brief moment and then I had to care for my mother.

 

Now, we’re about to move my mother for the third time. My sister and I have been back and forth from our homes to NJ several times over the past few weeks. There is an endless mass of change, where is the mail delivery, where are we in the FEMA process, who do we call to do what next, where is best for Mom to stay to wait for answers? We are not alone. There are thousands of people who don’t have the ability to manage as we have, together as a family facing these challenges. There are people who are alone, confused, cold and have no answers. I feel so grateful!

As we approach the Thanksgiving week, with all the holiday feasting and shopping hype already attacking from all angles, consider a different kind of holiday. Consider adopting a displaced family and sending a care package full of blankets and coats and gloves. Consider hiring a displaced worker, who may have lost a vehicle, and may need a ride but sure needs a job and to make a living. Consider providing a donation of your time to visit a retirement community where the elderly residents may not have any family close by to smile at them or have a meal together or share a hug of support. Consider donating your blood to the local Red Cross in your community, giving the gift of life at a very critical time.

Our situation is difficult, but we were lucky. My mom’s home is repairable, and she will get to go back again. I know other people on Long Beach Island, NJ, who have lost their homes, their businesses and everything they own. It will take time to rebuild Long Beach Island, and many are gathering to support this effort. If you would like to learn more, visit the links below. As for me, I know the only thing for sure is change. The roller coaster of life will continue and it’s the people on the ride with you that make all the difference.

Love, Peace & Magic ;~)

The SandPaper

Southern Ocean Chamber of Commerce Know Your Contractor

Ocean County Government

Small Business Administration Help for Sandy Communities

Volunteer Opportunities to Help with Sandy Recovery

On Twitter search #LBI #SandyNJ #SandyNYC … check in with me @bgreen ;~)

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It was just like any other day. Rushing to take Josh to child care and run errands. Then back to the house and do the dishes. Then the phone rang and the world turned upside down. Was your day like that, too?

Remembering exactly the sequence of events of that morning, when I got the call, turning on the TV, in a dream state watching as the world changed. Then coming to, and trying to control my own small world. Where was everyone?

First, I went back to child care and picked up my son. There was no cell phone to reach my husband back then. I went to a local government office where I had friends and we gathered around the TV there, in shock, waiting to learn something, who… why… I had to reach my sister. That is when the panic began.

My mother was in Philadelphia. My sister lived in Raleigh, North Carolina at the time, and worked in New York City, frequenting the Twin Towers for business. We could not locate my sister. As I write this, I can feel the rising of the terror that she was suffering, she was trapped or even worse. I can feel the sequence of loved ones all over the world beginning to hear the news, shock, disbelief, anger and grief. It was just after 9am that we began trying to contact my sister and it was almost 11:30 when I heard from my mother that she had called her from North Carolina.

Friends of Firefighters . orgThere is no other day in my life that changed me so much. I imagine this is true for many others as well. As time went on, I found there were people in my extended family that were touched, lives were lost, futures erased. There was never a warning, and from then on to this very day, there is no warning when a memory is triggered that I feel that overwhelming grief for all that disappeared that day. For those who live in the shadows of the memories, in New York, in Washington, DC, and in Pennsylvania, I respect and admire their ability to face the future, to move through and press on.

On a recent episode of the TV show, Secret Millionaire, a young man, Sean Belnick, who has become wealthy over the past few years, but had a clear memory of that day, ventured into the New York City neighborhoods where firefighters and their families suffered unimaginable loss. What he found was a true bond of love and support had risen up from the ashes, an ongoing, visible and living testament to the courage and resilience of those who had suffered the greatest.

As we go through this day, with the memories we hold of our collective experience and our individual experience, please take a moment to acknowledge that we are changed, we are different, and we only have now. If you feel moved to, I encourage you to donate to the Friends of Firefighters here.

In the words of Bruce Springsteen from “Into the Fire” on The Rising…

May your strength give us strength

May your faith give us faith

May your hope give us hope

May your love bring us love…

 

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Yesterday, I did the annual visit to Hotel Roanoke to visit the Festival of Trees. Each year, there’s a bounty of ideas that can be gleaned from the beautiful displays. This year, my favorite is the sparkling in white creation featuring feathery owls pictured here. I do not profess to have the skills or abilities to pull something like this off, yet I’m inspired to push myself past my usual decorating style this year for something more grand and unexpected.

There’s much to be said for embracing a new level of creativity. Across this year, the people in my circles that have added the extra touch of color, wore the higher heels, spoke the old words in a new way, those are who have stood out to me. It’s not about change just for the sake of change, but change that is an improvement, a shift in energies that attracts an improved quality of life. Creativity has the power to inspire, encourage and draw attention to something that otherwise would be invisible, part of the every day landscape of life.

Today, my family & I will be out and about, visiting, shopping and holiday site seeing together. I’ll be gathering ideas for new cookies, tree displays and traditions that can be incorporated into the memories we create for the next several weeks. Do you have a holiday tradition that improves with time? Are there new, creative changes added to seasonal celebrations with family that are anticipated for their surprise?

My goal is to keep things simple this year, yet create memories of the special moments that will last a lifetime. Isn’t that what life is all about? Visit again soon to see what I come up with…

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Today is special. The time has come for a new beginning. There are shifts in priorities, with ideas connecting what can happen when minds open to different ways of doing things. I’m making it personal.

Over the past few years, I’ve struggled. There have been challenges with my family, health issues, separations, divorces, all the things that people face together. There have been changes professionally, keeping up with an ever evolving field of technology and marketing, and how to maneuver through the chaos and be heard. Most of all, there has been an internal struggle in my heart and deep within my soul. I have been doing what I thought I should do for everyone else instead of what I know I need to do for me.

I’m facing a period of time where I have responsibilities to my teenage son at one end of the spectrum and my 80+ year old Mom on the other. I know I’m not alone in having to deal with this. I’m also facing the fact that I have to create an income that not only supports me, but allows me to save for my own health care, retirement and emergencies. As an entrepreneur, there’s no perks, no paid holidays, no benefits package unless I budget it for myself.

On a deeper level, I believe I’m in this place in time for a reason. My deeply held spiritual convictions are that there is something we are each put here to do. I hold a broad perspective that we are all more alike than we are different. With that said, my vision is to create a respectful dialogue between what is not working in our world and possible solutions that can be accomplished serving the greater good. It’s not a dream, it’s an imperative for our time.

There is the reality, illuminated for me and the world. I’ll be using this space to share the journey. Some posts will be personal. Some posts will be spiritual. Some posts will be political. All posts will be expressing my own opinion and will invite polite and respectful discourse. I’m energized to embark on this adventure. Join me!

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